What have they got that you haven't? How can a scientist be successful in his field of research if his wife is constantly nagging him? But this is not the only time they had a row. You should not be obsessed with tidiness, because obsession itself can cause problems: "A man said: 'I am fed up with my wife's obsession with cleanliness and tidiness. The man looks towards his spouse to find friendship and love, which is a requirement of all human beings. May God save me from your mother! Do not violate his orders. Men and women, although having many aspects in common, also possess unique characteristics. "A man shot himself, his wife and step-mother to death. They believe that, not speaking, or quarrelling are the best possible ways of revenging their husbands. She is able to do whatever she wills if she puts her mind to it. In 1969, 11,246 cases out of a total of 16,058 cases, were based on the same reason. They would listen to repeated words which only prove to be time wasting and nerve breaking. These women do not commit any acts which would incur a loss upon their husbands nor multiply their difficulties'."38. They use their young daughters, who are inexperienced and not quite aware of their situations, in order to influence the sons-in-law. However, running the affairs of such a unit needs a manager who can coordinate the duties. A woman in this situation has a great responsibility. I do not know what such women want to achieve by their grumbling. Once the meal is ready, she has to look for the dishes, make a drink, get the glasses, fill the salt and pepper shakers, etc. This is an obsession and I hate obsession'." "Imam Ali (a.s) stated: 'There is no better and more copious food than mother's milk for a baby'." If he is interested in continuing his studies or if he wants to increase his knowledge through reading and research, then do not stop him. The following is such a case: "A woman said in the court: 'Mr used to talk behind my husband- in order to cause a clash between me and my husband. Always keep your house clean and tidy. What are the mutual responsibilities of both the wife and the husband in Islam? In other words women should not appear before these relatives of hers in the same way as she would make herself attractive for her husband. If the wife respects her mother-in-law, seeks advice from her, and becomes obedient and friendly with her, then the mother-in-law will be her greatest supporter. They create strife among the families and turn their houses into dark and horrible dungeons. No one could quarrel with an ill person. Any way, a possibility is just that, and it should not be considered as a firm proof. After having to buy some more sugar, he takes a few cups of tea to the guests. Neither grounds for divorce nor the wifes presence or consent are necessary, but [] Your husband is a human being like you. So it is only natural and fair to show appreciation to your husband for his consideration and thoughtfulness. Why did you choose this man? "A young woman complained to the court and said: 'My husband is coming home late every night on account of overtime at his work. Although many who are willing to socialize, refuse to do so, because they have the wrong idea that they do not possess many luxurious items in their homes that it would be better to keep away from others and save themselves the embarrassment. Secondly, you should try to create an understanding between yourselves. "Imam Sajjad (a.s) stated: 'One's happiness is in haying pious children from whom one can seek help'.'' He expects his wife to observe Islamic Hijab (statutory Islamic dress for women) and by adapting herself to Islamic behaviour and ethics she cooperates in maintaining his lawful rights. One of the important duties of women is caring for their children. Try to express your genuine concern and then help him realize that the problems are not as impossible and huge as he had thought. Those women, who are unaware of this feature of their role, may find difficulty in fulfilling the task. As a result, some husbands and wives constantly argue over this matter. If he is reading or researching on a particular field, then do not disturb him. Budget your expenditures in a way that it is not detrimental to your wealth and honor. But you should remember that other men may have other defects which are non-existent in yours. Starting to work without your husband's permission will be detrimental to the serenity and loving atmosphere of your family. The only memory from days and nights of sexual desire would be the children, whose existence would be heart warming to the parents. Enter valid first name and last name with at least one space. If you shirk your responsibility, you would be questioned in the world Hereafter. Then how could he continue to practise medicine? Such subjects are useful but a child should not only learn about honest persons, but he should be honest himself. While the mahr is often money, it can also be anything agreed upon by the bride such as jewelry, home goods, furniture, a dwelling or some land. She wants me to put my clothes in their proper place. They walk around the house with disheveled hair, stained clothes, and torn socks. A few days ago, I saw him with an attractive woman walking in the street. You can even sleep less at night and take a rest with your husband during the day. When any of you divorce your wives, divorce them during their period of purity and calculate the period carefully: be mindful of Allah, your Lord. He may then become disheartened in you and might deviate from the right path. She can ask her husband and the children to help her in setting the food in front of the guests. He knows what is going on in that quarter. "A man, married to a high-school passed girl, said in the court: 'My wife refuses to do any housework. The statistics on divorce conclusively indicate that the compatible attitude, moral values and disposition was non-existent in the couples. 78, "The Prophet of Allah (S) also stated: 'The worst of women is one who is stubborn and obstinate'." She should pursue the matter wisely and patiently at different times and on different occasions. Women usually like their men to be nearby and prefer them to be home when it becomes dark. It is unlikely to find a woman who regards her husband as perfect. Once she called me "an intolerable man". Islam has enjoined upon the husband duties towards his wife, and vice versa, and among these duties are some which are shared by both husband and wife. The personality of a man is largely dependent on his wife's desires. Be satisfied with his merits. Dear Madam! She must also be able to regulate the income with spending'."94. She should also provide adequate measures to maintain his health and well-being. "Imam Ali (a.s) stated: ' Act moderately with the women in every instance. Even though Islam has firmly prohibited us from such deeds we are not prepared to give them up. at least wear those nice dresses at home on holidays.' The following morning, the woman of the house after eating breakfast, carries out some of her tasks like washing, cutting and frying the meat, chicken, and potatoes. Do not react harshly to her impoliteness or allegations. I am fed up with her'. Therefore, there will be a need for privacy and silence. They are charming, attractive, and lovable; whereas men are charmed, attracted by and love women's qualities. Dear Madam! An outside job should not pave the way for upsetting the whole family. The mother, whose words are regarded as sympathetic, causes family rows and arguments between the daughter and her husband. Dear Madam! Now you can choose to follow either of the two examples. He would regard his wife as responsible for trampling over his rights. Therefore, should a man express his opinion about any point in the household matters or suggest any thing, the wife should not oppose him or deny him his right of directorship in any way. You should not be angry with her or have arguments. "1, "Imam Ali (a.s) stated: 'Engage in marriage; because this is the tradition of the Prophet (S) of Allah'. A husband is the head of the family and its guardian. 110, "Imam Ali (a.s) stated: 'Washing one's hands, before having meals, would prolong life, prevent one's clothes from becoming dirty and would enlighten one's eyes',"111. By the way, your husband is such a grim faced man. Your true friends would not be upset by your demand. The couple, not only have not enjoyed the party, but may also have an argument over it, and may even decide not to hold any more parties. Like a wife, a man is also required to take care of his appearance. Tell your friends and relatives to visit you when your husband is not busy. Water dissolves the solid food in order to prepare it for absorption by the intestines. "Two children, a brother and a sister, aged 6 and 4 years drank a solution of DDT. In the next chapter, this point will be discussed in more detail but here we are saying that a woman should be wise and not react towards her husband's anger, be it right or not. The four-year old girl died, and her brother survived. "The Prophet of Allah (S) stated: 'The best of your women is one who gives birth to many children, is loving and chaste, who does not submit to the will of her relatives but is obedient towards her husband, adorns herself only for her husband and protects herself from strangers, listens to her husband and obeys him, accedes to his wishes in privacy and does not lose her modesty in any case. "Imam as-Sadiq (a.s) stated: 'No life is more agreeable than the one which is of a pleasant nature'."26. If a woman plans the affairs of such a house in such a way that her husband can get on with his job, surely she has accomplished a valuable task. The way is by being kind and good-natured. He would appreciate your efforts and would love you more. She said to me: 'I went to your surgery and sat beside a young girl in the waiting room. Most important of these are: One of the wifes foremost commitments and chief duty toward her husband is to obey him in everything that is not unlawful. Thus forestalling harm to the young men, which would also benefit the women of the society. Unfortunately, this characteristic is so widespread among the people that it does not even seem bad any more. "Oh God! Therefore, express your appreciation to him and love him, he will love you. The man may think that by divorcing his wife, he can marry a 'perfect' woman, with whom he can live in peace. As a matter off act driving is not a good job. Women want their husbands to have a decent job with a high salary. So, the dilemma for a sensible man is either to choose the wife and abandon the parents or vice versa; but neither of these is possible. Do your friends come to your house in order to watch your luxury goods? The guests did not enjoy the party either, because they felt that they had caused a lot of trouble for their hosts and they probably wished that they had not come at all. Everyone should enjoy sexual satisfaction in a correct and proper manner. Well, the only real cause is the lack of experience and know-how of the housewife about how to entertain her guests. Enemies always endorse your claims and might even add a few lies to it in order to shatter your life. Other letters were also related to his work where he was asked to attend certain seminars. At dinner time I spread the table cloth and placed my wife's framed certificate of high school in the middle. It is not correct to punish a child for touching, destroying or losing any of the precious items that you have left within their reach. It is a few years now, that I have been living with her and I suffered so much that I do not want to go back to her'. But they dare not dispose of this mistaken tradition. Stop them immediately when they set out to criticize your husband. "The Prophet of Allah (S) stated: 'Oh! 144, "Imam Baqir (a.s) stated: 'Choose noble women to feed (your children) with their milk, because the base qualities of milk are passed from the feeding woman to the child'." Be wise? The husband has gone through a great deal of worry. When the couple went home, the wife could still smell his bad breath so she went into another room. Do not think that to discipline a child is an impossible task. "53, "A man said in the court: 'It was a month ago, when I was coming back from a party, that of my colleagues asked me to give him and his wife a lift back home. The daughter is placed in a situation to pick up rows with her husband. After getting married its the responsibility of the husband to take care of his wife in all aspects. There are people who are impostors and are lying in wait for simple men. The woman with the qualities bestowed on her by Allah, who is aware of her role as a spouse, can elevate her husband to a respected man even if he had been the lowest of all men. What is this place you have brought me? Dirty mother and father actually teach their child to be dirty. All rights reserved to, Saturday, December 5, 2020 - 21 Rabi' al-Akhar 1442, A non-practicing Muslim woman marrying a non-Muslim man. Another important duty of a housewife is feeding her children. The children were on their own in their house. Every week, in my husband's horoscope, it mentions that he would have good times with the people who are born in the month of June. Of course not all mothers are aware of the necessary skills of training a child and that is why they should set about learning them. "And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves" (30:21). I have been working so hard today and I am exhausted. Your husband needs to have a job to earn his family's living. 131. However, once she is married, her role changes. Dear Madam! Before his marriage the love and affection of his parents fulfilled this need, but now, he expects you to fulfill it. Wash your hands before eating and teach your children to do the same. With this approach, the husband and wife might end up fighting and eventually resort to a divorce. Such an approach, not only relaxes you within, but also would admonish him. Share responsibility for your daily life, and enjoy one another's company. Which one would you prefer? Plan your life in this new home and adapt yourself to it. Do not reject his participation even in those matters that you have more expertise. You must put aside your past wishes and forget those past offers. Household goods which are meant to serve our comfort have turned into a means of showing off and ostentation. Mrs. Dorothy Carnegie was a housewife who wrote a good book. It prevents many illnesses and attracts the family members to the house. Be wise and understanding. Every time I protested she said that housekeeping was not meant for an educated woman. Specifically, the refusal of sexual intercourse can be seen as a kind of "nushuz", and may be answered with corporal punishment. Why should she look beautiful for others? They might say: "Is it possible for a woman to do the difficult housework, and at the same time, take care of her husband and not to let anything interrupt him?". 83, "A ten-year old girl told the social workers: 'I remember vaguely that one night my parents argued over something. There is no one more devoted and concerned over your husband's well-being other than yourself. The wife, occasionally goes to the guests but cannot stay and sit with them. "37, "In a tradition, Imam Rida (a.s) stated: 'There are a group of women who raise many children. Such women are truly demons in a human form. The responsibilities of education, training, and running of this sensitive social base lies with the women. He feels that his parents expect him to help them in their times of need and that it would not be fair to abandon them. On this account, the simple men need to be taken care of. She said: 'Im used to compare my husband's face with other men and I regretted my marriage with him'." He would not isolate himself from you; he would come home as early as possible; he would not have accidents and he would remain healthy in his morals. If the proof of your husband's guilt is not a firm proof towards your husband's guilt, if your friends and relatives think that the evidence is not enough, if your husband regards himself as not guilty, and finally if you are still suspicious of him, then you can be sure that you are ill. You are suffering from a mental disorder in which the element of suspicion has grown beyond your control. You should keep this in your mind that Islam is the first religion of human history that not only gave rights to woman some fifteen hundred years ago but also accepted her to be a legal person. The necessary nourishment for the body is contained in meat, fruits, vegetables and cereals and can be classified into six groups: (b) Minerals, such as calcium, phosphorus, iron, copper, etc. When two women meet, they start gossiping. Age, size of the body and other possible factors determine the level of our nutritional requirements. If anybody wants to see him or talk to him, tell them he is busy. You are responsible for his wealth and as such you must protect it. She did not have enough money to pay for the milk, so I offered to help. If they intend to distress him, to create for him psychological problems and to lead him towards fatal artificial addictions, then they are on the right track. Such a woman is a representative of and one of the workforce of Allah, and a person who works for Allah would never be faced with regret or defeat'. Do not think of any man other than your husband. Its payment in the form of money or possessions paid by the groom, or by the grooms father, to the bride at the time of marriage, that legally becomes her property. After marriage, men and women must consider all the members In the court he said: 'I was married to this woman a year ago. These problems, as a matter of fact, are tests as well as builders of the true character of a person. Mothers who feed their babies with their own milk can, through carelessness about their food, damage their own health as well as of their babies. It is a difficult duty and that is why the Prophet (S) of Islam stated: "The Jihad of a woman is to take care of her husband well."52. If you do not have any milk yourself, you can use cow's milk. Although your husband's money and wealth is at your disposal, do not regard it as your own. Such an achievement is certainly not easy, especially when there are children around. An office is a place to work in and is not for the purpose of showing off, or for rivalry. Mankind is a creation that is able to cleanse his soul and by avoiding evil deeds and exercising good behavior reach a level of such high status that even the angels are not able to attain. Oh yes, she is fortunate to have a husband who loves her, he isn't like you! You should remember that if your husband reacts harshly towards you for not speaking with him, then he might even resort to severe measures such as hitting you. (3) Reproduction: Through marriage the procreation of mankind is continued. "A thirty-year old woman attacked her fifty-year old mother for she had caused her divorce. Wash all fruits before eating them because some fruits are sprayed with poisonous substances. Anyway, she must not use violence or a harsh attitude, unless she sees that there is not any result from being kind and gentle to him. Dear lady! The husband then explained that the reason he ate outside was because his wife had absolutely no constructiveness in her and she was the worst of all the ill-disposed women in the world. ", "Another child swallowed ten of her mother's tablets. Health or illness, beauty or ugliness, even good or bad temperedness, and cleverness of children are all related to the way they are fed. Why should you live like this? He asked Imam Ali (a.s): 'How do you find your spouse?' In addition, a woman must not give in charity from her husbands money except with his permission. Yogurt and cheese are also useful. Whoever disowns his relatives will lose many helping hands. Only on Fridays, through the mediation of friends and relatives, we used to be on good terms. The existence of a child is the fruit of the marital tree and a natural desire of men and women. The wife should first of all talk to him softly and kindly. The only possible way to ease the situation is that the woman should be loyal and wise. "19, "The Holy Prophet (S) stated: 'A wife is duty-bound to arrange for a basin and towel to wash her husband's hands'."20. The judge started to read the letters aloud. Some people live in this way either temporarily or permanently. Be sure they are not your friends, but your foes who want to see you breaking away from your family. Members of a family have a close relationship and common goals and interests. If a woman thinks of him as a handsome man, it is not his fault. Allah should give me the same luck! There is a general proverb which says: "Even if one's flesh is eaten by relations, they would not throw away the bones! The wife came forward and after seeing the letters said: 'I used to search his pockets every night but I did not see any of these letters'.. It causes suspicion, pessimism, disharmony, and strife among the people. Be courteous and polite when you are talking to him and do not shout at him. So by being well-mannered and sacrificing, prove that you are worthy of him. The child nutritive experts say that a baby must be fed with milk once every three to four hours. Be good-natured and not quarrelsome. You can even help the widow through your wife. If a wife tells a lie to husband to cover up her something else she did, she only compounds her offence. The smallest carelessness on her part, would expose the health of all the family members to many illnesses. A validation e-mail has been sent to your e-mail address. Malnutrition is a serious problem for many people and one should not overlook it or else she must be prepared to pay for the treatment of illnesses caused by it. My poor daughter!". Dear Madam! (d) He might have given a lift to a helpless woman. This can be done by cooperation within the family. Haq Mahr is the first and foremost right of a woman upon marriage. God is beautiful and He loves beauty.
The mother of the boy angrily went up to him, lifted him up, and then threw him on the ground so hard that it killed the boy outright. The family is formed of man and woman and it is extended by producing children. Eventually, the spirit of love and trust will erode. I was so frustrated that I decided to beat up my mother'." Untidy women blame their children for the house being in a state of mess, whereas it is the children who learn from their parents. After a short while the man returned home and did not find the money he had left. She must not even tell her best friends or relatives. If you are interested in your marriage and your family then do not set out to find his weaknesses. A man in this situation expects his wife to help solve the problem. Entertain your guests during his break times. He would then regard you as wise and devoted wife who is interested in her husband and family. A girl, while in her parents' house, is duty-bound to satisfy them. You must treat her in a manner so that she becomes certain of your innocence. Thirdly, you may be innocent of the subject of her suspicion, but the suspicions of women are mostly not baseless either. if you care about your husband and your family, then you should give up this improper and illogical attitude. The fault lies with you, expecting him to be at home every night and not being able or not wanting to adapt yourself to the present conditions. They can serve their society by bringing up pious children. A wise and clever woman would always examine the suggestions and sayings of her mother before implementing them in her family life. They have talked and their friendship had become stronger. In this situation, the man may not be able to control himself, so it is important that the wife, in order to save her family, remains silent. If necessary, one should spend his earnings for his family and himself, but if not needed then he should donate his earnings from work to those who need his help. Love is a two-way relationship which unites the hearts. If your husband has a private desk or a safe; and if he does not let you read his letters, do not think of him as having a mistress. Dear Madam! This is in the interest of both herself and the society. A widow, like a divorced woman, is also entitled to stay in her husbands house for the entire duration of her waiting period. He likes to see the effects of his blessings upon his worshipper, that is to see him clean, tidy and using scent, to decorate his house, to dust off his house environment, to turn the lights on before sunset -because this deed takes away the poverty from home and increases sustenance.'" He should not feel guilty of being a man. Such a woman is one of the workforce of Allah and a person who works for Allah would never have to face either regret or defeat'." It should be a means of acquiring nearness to the Almighty Allah. "The Prophet of Allah (S) stated: 'The stomach is the centre of all illnesses'."117. Are you sure that the wives of those so-called "faultless" men are satisfied with them? Such disorders and certain social problems are a direct consequence of the abstinence of youth from marriage. If he is a civil servant, he has orders to travel on duty and if he has a private business, then surely it is to his advantage to live in another location. Any other use of the hosted content, such as for financial gain, requires express approval from the copyright owners. Therefore, some parties are accompanied with the anxiety of the host couple as a result of which people tend to avoid having a party. If you fail to satisfy him at sensitive times like this, then he will be disappointed with you, and may even prefer to divorce you. At his point the husband took out a few letters from his pocket and placed them on a counter before the judge and asked him to read them aloud in order to prove his innocence and to stop his wife's improper attitude. 86, Dear Madam! Firstly, dear sir! Now let us read the opinion of a few educated women about being a housewife: "Mrs. F. N. Shamirani, a graduate, said: 'A housewife should be an expert in dealing with the household affairs, a good companion for her husband, a good mother to her children and a good hostess to the guests'. This is because most men dislike their wives to appear attractive by wearing attractive clothes and make up before other men; and of course it should not be forgotten that the tranquility of mind and the trust of a man in his wife is crucial to the survival and security of the whole family. The Prophet of Allah (S) stated: 'When a woman becomes pregnant, Allah rewards her as much as He would to someone who goes for Jihad (holy war) with all his wealth and life. Gradually, my husband became disappointed with me and thought of divorcing me and remarrying. In any case, while outside her home, she must certainly observe Islamic Hijab and see that she remains simple and without any make-up. I was then deceived by others and later committed theft'." If his new friend is a well-mannered person with a clean record, then she should not worry. Keep all your money, important papers, documents, jewelry and certificates in a safe or a place out of the reach of children. The impostor, though pretending to be a good-doer, traps the man and draws him towards corruption. The woman does something else, and the man does the same until they become tired and, through the mediation of relatives or friends, reconcile. 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